Marriage isn’t meant to make you happier. It’s meant to make you holier.
This is a saying I heard years ago when our marriage was falling apart. This realization changed so much for me. My spouse can make me happy but he’s not my main source of joy. That’s Jesus.
Engagement, marriage, falling in love...these are all wonderful things but when we use these experiences to bring attention to ourselves we are bound for trouble. The covenant of marriage should put the love of God on display for others to see, this includes the one we spend our life with.
When I love my husband like Jesus calls me to our relationship is refined. Some days he’s super easy to love. Some days I am too. Then other days choosing to love like Christ is easier said than done. But we choose Jesus over our own wants and desires. We choose each other before our own selfish motives. We choose godly matrimony.
Focus on reflecting Jesus. Take the expectations off of your spouse. Let Jesus be your source of joy. Love sacrificially and above all enjoy the gift of marriage God has given to you both!
This marriage thing is complex and sanctifying. I used to be toxic about wanting my husband to meet my needs and make me happy. I wanted him to be the “void filler” and then got upset when he didn’t.
It took me repenting to both God and my husband to lift the veil of the lies I had come into agreement with.
Marriage is about making the individual look more like Jesus. It is about reflecting the heart of Christ. It is about excited sacrificial love that yearns to serve. The premise this world has fed us about love and marriage is a crock. Marriage is a worthwhile rollercoaster that brings two people together in a way that only the Creator himself could fashion. It makes a person better, it makes a person discover the depths of the Father’s heart.
Marriage exposes both the best and worst of a person all while saying that the worst isn’t a disqualifier but an opportunity to be refined. This marriage thing hasn’t always been my favorite thing but it is the most cherished gift I have ever been given outside of salvation.
Marriage is what you put into it. If you don’t invest your heart, mind and soul into a healthy relationship then you will have a mediocre love story. On the other hand if you invest everything you are into your spouse then no Hollywood movie could ever properly capture the complex beauty that it is.
“Marriage is the beautiful design of the Almighty, a great and sacred mystery— meant to be a vivid example of Christ and his church. So every married man should be gracious to his wife just as he is gracious to himself. And every wife should be tenderly devoted to her husband.” Ephesians 5:32-33 TPT⠀
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